by Beenie Mann
Why do we judge ourselves and others by ridiculous exterior standards? Is it because we see those standards superimposed to create images of beauty and success? Most commercial photos of beautiful people are “Photoshopped” to enhance cheekbones or trim underarm fat or erase wrinkles. Real life cannot be Photoshopped. Our solution is to appreciate who we are and what we see.
We grow up comparing ourselves to others and working hard to fit into a mental image influenced by complete strangers. We try desperately to measure up. We do what is expected from our parents, teachers, peers, employers, friends, etc. We enter the rat race in search of beauty and success but end up losing ourselves and, thereby, our happiness.
Humans need love to survive and flourish. We all want to be loved and accepted, and we strive to find it anywhere we can. Mostly we look to receive love from others.
Why do we look for it from others? We cannot love and accept others if we don’t first love and accept ourselves. How can we give if our cup is empty?
Do we need permission to love ourselves without feeling guilty? I did, and it took a long time before I realized it was not only okay, but necessary to love myself. I gave myself permission. Give yourself permission now if you have not done so yet. Permission can come from no one but you.
In my struggle to overcome obstacles, the side effects were destruction of self-esteem and lack of self-love. After all, my own mother couldn’t or wouldn’t love me. Therefore, I must be an awful human being. Something must be wrong with me…
Can you imagine how I was berating myself internally? Can you relate?
My question to you is this: Would you be offended if someone talked to you the way you talk to yourself?
If you answered YES… STOP! Talk to yourself as you would to a child you love and want to encourage.
You matter and you are important!
Need some encouragement and guidance? A coach is a great partner to assist you in achieving what you want. You are not alone and you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out to us and get connected. MattersOfPerspective.com