What I Most Need in This Moment Is…

by Dr. Melissa Healy – Health & Wellness Coach

Several years ago, I referenced the question, “What do I most need in this moment?” in my blog titled ‘The First Best Step in Improving Your Emotional and Mental Fitness’. In the midst of the current crisis, I find it more important than ever to revisit this simple self-care practice.  It can and will have immediate and profound effect on your mental and emotional well-being.   

In a moment of overwhelm, uncertainty or confusion, asking yourself what you most need in the moment acts as a pause button to your internal dialogue. Interrupting this dialogue allows your intuition, your inner guide, to be heard and more importantly, acted upon.

Jessica, a full-time single mom, is struggling with a lack of co-operation within her team. A hiring freeze at her company has resulted in staff being asked to carry an increase in workload, without an increase in pay. Collective loss in morale, miscommunication and mistakes in documentation now have Jessica logging into her work computer over the weekends to meet Monday morning deadlines.  

In a moment of extreme frustration last weekend, she asked herself, “What do I most need in this moment?” Her intuition was telling her to log off her computer, take her dog for a walk.  However, feeling the pull of the Monday deadline, she ignored her intuition and kept working. In hindsight, she realized by ignoring the response to this question, she had an unproductive and anxiety filled afternoon, even after completing the task.

This week she has been checking in at least once daily, asking herself, “What do I most need in this moment?” and acting on it accordingly.  Somedays it is simply taking a moment to read a chapter of a new book she has started, other days she drives to pick up her favorite local coffee, drinking it while walking around the neighborhood.

As a result, she is finishing her week off on a more energetic note. In an unexpected turn of events, she shared this story with her team on a virtual call this week, and without having to plead for cooperation, has the commitment of the entire team to get all documentation to her by end of day Friday.

Jessica’s story is not uncommon. According to author Laura Doyle, the most effective self-care is to not to focus on what you “feel you should be doing”, but on things that “delight you”.  Asking, “What do I most need in this moment?” is a just one way to initiate self-care into your daily routine.

As a go-to self-care tool, this can be effective even under the best of circumstances and, is particularly critical now. As you get more comfortable using this  simple self-care strategy, you will find it will have far reaching positive impact when shared with others. What DO you most need in THIS moment?